Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong

Home
>
Negotiation
>
Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong

Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong

What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated?

When I prepare to negotiate, provide a service or turn my employees' talent into performance, I know deep down that if I make people feel valuable they will see my input as having value. But in that moment when they are just hands-down, across-the-board dead wrong, I sometimes can't stop myself from letting them know how incredibly wrong they are. When that happens, my ability to influence them vaporizes on the spot, and I'm left dealing with the response I created by making them wrong.

I think this is the most consistently counterproductive thing we do in business and, I suspect, in our personal lives too. It may be the foundation of communication breakdown. Maybe this behavior is so prevalent because it's part of human nature. Could we be natural born jerks? (Jerkdom ? nature or nurture?) If so, how do we overcome the urge to prove our point at the expense of our business or relationship?

Wynn Solutions studied thousands of top communicators and saw a common behavior among them: the practice of not making people wrong. We decided to find out how they did it.

We discovered that these top communicators lowered their expectations of other people's behavior before meeting with them face to face. It seemed to reduce the tendency to overreact in the heat of the moment. Also, they walked in the door with an agenda of not making the other person wrong and of looking for areas where the other person's knowledge was strong. So when that moment came ? when other people made their limited knowledge obvious ? top communicators were not so ready to pounce.

This approach may sound a bit condescending to some, but it sure beats dealing with communication issues you create for yourself by having to prove you're the smartest person in the room. It allows you to be right without making others feel wrong.

Garrison Wynn is a nationally known speaker, trainer, and consultant. He is the president and founder of Wynn Solutions, specializing in building profitable business relationships.

888-833-2902
http://www.wynnsolutions.com

In The News:

The Majalla Magazine
Negotiating with Iran: A better way forward
UPI.com
Negotiation will be deemed a long process. Optimistic claims of progress resulting from trivial concessions will be framed as political victories. And, not surprisingly, Iranian officials will herald the talks as fruitful and call for continued ...
Iranian nuclear negotiations: A little ray of sunshine?The Majalla Magazine
Iran-West Nuclear Negotiations Will Continue in JuneFiredoglake
Inspection at Iran nuclear facility finds higher-level traces of uranium, UN saysCNN
Washington Post -Minneapolis Star Tribune -Huffington Post
all 3,504 news articles »

Sudan and South Sudan to resume negotiations
Christian Science Monitor
After weeks of fighting, in which South Sudan took out one of Sudan's last remaining oil fields, the two countries are returning to the negotiation table, under African Union mediation. By Scott Baldauf, Staff writer / May 25, 2012 After a series of ...

and more »

Negotiation is not a solution in itself
Montreal Gazette
“Negotiation” – almost everybody in Quebec still seems to believe in its magical powers to solve the current protest crisis, even after it's already failed once. Three-quarters of Quebecers in a recent poll by Léger Marketing for Québecor-owned media ...

and more »

IBNLive.com
International climate negotiations: Moving parts and much-more slowly moving ...
Energy Collective
Parties to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) met in Bonn, Germany, May 14-25 and negotiated reductions in emissions of greenhouse gases along three separate tracks. First, the Kyoto Protocol: Delegates to the 17 th ...
Deadlock breaks at UN climate talks, agenda agreedCreamer Media's Engineering News
U.N. climate talks stall over rich-poor divisionsSan Francisco Chronicle

all 478 news articles »

How coaching baseball helps negotiating deals
Bizjournals.com
As it turns out, coaching has helped me in my real job, namely, negotiating agreements on behalf of commercial real estate and corporate clients. • The Similarities Between Creating a Lineup and a Commercial Lease. Several days before a game, ...

Austin American-Statesman
City approves negotiations to buy Joe's Crab Shack land
Austin American-Statesman
By Shonda Novak The Austin City Council on Thursday gave the go-ahead for city real estate officials to negotiate a contract to buy the 1.8-acre site that is home to the Joe's Crab Shack restaurant on East Riverside Drive. The City Council approved the ...

and more »

GAUVIN: Negotiating with taxpayers in mind has not been council's strong point
Barnstable Patriot
The word “negotiate” appears several times in the story. The young man, let's call him John Smith, then glances wistfully through the expansive window to the commuter traffic slowly passing by outside with its assortment of various car models driven by ...

and more »

KOIN Local 6
Reynolds negotiations end in stalemate, uncertainty
KOIN Local 6
By Rob Cullivan Reynolds School District contract negotiations have again concluded without an agreement, and it's likely both sides won't meet again until Tuesday, May 29, at the earliest, district officials said. Meanwhile, school has been cancelled ...

and more »

Teaneck teacher contract negotiations move to fact-finding stage
NorthJersey.com
BY DENISA R. SUPERVILLE TEANECK — Negotiations between the school board and the teachers' union will move from mediation to fact-finding after discussions reached an impasse on Wednesday night, a union official said Thursday.

China.org.cn
Negotiations for Rio+20 'painfully slow'
China.org.cn
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki- moon on Thursday expressed frustration at the slow pace of negotiations over a draft outcome document for the upcoming UN Conference on Sustainable Development (Rio+20), urging member states to look at the "bigger picture" ...

and more »

Google News