English Has Come A Long, Long Way...

Home
>
Language
>
English Has Come A Long, Long Way...

English Has Come A Long, Long Way...

I often wonder what would happen if Shakespeare were to be transported in a time machine to our world today. What would he think? How would he react?

Yes, Willie would probably tell me "thou hast too much time on thy hands if thou spendeth it wondering about such flights of fancy." But only after he found his feet.

You see, Willie would be blown away by some of the comforts we take for granted. For instance, that box we walk into. The doors close all by themselves...just like magic. When they open, we are magically in a different place.

"What callest thou this contraption?" Willie would ask in utter amazement.

An elevator. You would think nothing would phase a man who just landed his time machine 400 years into the future.

"Ah, I see. It was not magic after all. It elevated us, because it is an elevator."

This Willie guy is pretty handy with his English, isn't he? But that won't get him far these days. A hundred years ago, even fifty, he could have figured out just about every new word by tracing its roots (often to Greek or Latin). But not today.

"What are those...those...those, things?"

Why that's a TV, with a VCR and a DVD player. Over there, it's a CD player, an AM and FM radio and an amp. This is a PC, with CDRW and floppy drives, a powerful CPU, A and C drive, and more RAM than a MAC.

"What? Thy alphabet seems a bit confusing."

Once upon a time, the meaning of a word could always be guessed by simply tracing the entomology of the word back to its lowest roots.

"Thou meanest 'etymology', dost thou not? Entomology is the study of insects and bugs."

I knew that.

I took out a 'Kleenex' because my nose was running.

"But how dost thy nose run?"

I suppose the same way I drivest on a parkway and parkest in the driveway. Or how it doesn't matter whether we fill in a form or fill out a form...either way, the taxman gets the last laugh.

I offered to take Willie for a ride.

"That is more like it. There is nothing quite like a horse under one's bottom.'

No, no, no. We don't ride horses anymore. That is a barbaric way to treat such majestic beasts. Now we drive cars...and kill the horses off with the exhaust.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

Just have a seat in the BMW, Willie, while I turn on the AC and rev up the RPMs on this old V6. Before you know it, we'll be doing 100 mph down the 102.

"More letters and numbers. Have words become redundant in the future?"

Pretty much. As life got more and more complicated, words got more and more complicated. Pretty soon it was taking several minutes just to pronounce a single government department. So real word groups had to be replaced by acronyms ? the first letter of each word. Pass me a CANDY.

"What does CANDY stand for?"

Candy, actually. But maybe I should just leave old Willie guessing. After all, there is just so much to discover in this brave new world. Like why there are so few sundials around. And why some people sleep on the street, while other climb 34 stories to an office tower above to sleep at their desks. And just how do they shrink those liquor bottles for the airlines.

"What is an RSVP? And ASAP? And TLC?"

I had to find just the right way to explain to him that all these crazy letters actually made some kind of sense.

Internal Department of Income Overhaul Transfer Systems.

"Ah, IDIOTS. Now, that I understand!"

About The Author

Like Shakespeare, David Leonhardt is a writer: He is author of:

Inspiration & Motivation To Go: http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php

The Get Happy Workbook: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-work-book.html

and Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html

To write your website copy, newsletter or anything else, email him at: info@thehappyguy.com

Info@thehappyguy.com

In The News:

Priest apologizes for unholy language on Facebook
Fox News
LONDON – A British priest has apologized for some unholy language on his Facebook page, his bishop says. Canon Paul Shackerley, Vicar of the Minster Church of St. George in Doncaster in northern England, raised eyebrows by using the f--- word and ...

and more »

Irish Times
Ukrainian Opposition Blocks Parliament on Russian Language Bill
BusinessWeek
“Parliamentarism in Ukraine has been ruined,” Speaker Volodymyr Lytvyn said in televised remarks today on the Kiev- based Parliament's Rada channel after failing to sponsor a compromise over the state language bill. Tymoshenko, who was sentenced to ...
Row over status of Russian language threatens to split UkraineThe Guardian
Language no barrier to violenceSydney Morning Herald
Opposition blocks Ukrainian parliament after fistfight over language lawWashington Post
Dayton Daily News -Irish Times
all 717 news articles »

Huntsman: Romney's language on China is campaign rhetoric
CNN (blog)
Huntsman was critical of Romney during the Republican primary, arguing his opponent's language on China could lead to a "trade war." On Thursday, Huntsman did not back down from his earlier criticism, saying the ties between the US and China makes for ...

and more »

CBC.ca
'Winter's Tale' by Shakespeare gets African reboot
Fox News
The unified voice of a choir rises above the beats, singing in the Yoruba language of Nigeria's southwest at the start of a play that begins in its middle. This isn't the William Shakespeare you know. Instead, this is an African reboot of "The Winter's ...
Shakespeare's 'Winter's Tale' engulfed by African fire as part of language ...Washington Post

all 93 news articles »

Kiwibox.com Enters Spanish and Latin Markets -- Launches Spanish Language ...
MarketWatch (press release)
NEW YORK, May 25, 2012 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- The Kiwibox network proudly announces the integration of Spanish language versions on its social networking websites. The US based platform Kiwibox and the European KWICK! now each support Spanish ...

and more »

Sign Language: Funny displays from the road
Washington Post
You can also send high-resolution JPEG or TIFF images to travel@washpost.com with “Sign Language” in the subject line. Winners receive a Travel tote bag. Photos become property of The Washington Post, which may edit, publish, distribute or republish ...

Boston.com
US clampdown on visas for Confucius Institute's teachers draws indignation in ...
Washington Post
They primarily give language instruction, but also engage in cultural exchanges and are set up at universities overseas, where they have drawn concerns that they are propaganda machines aimed at stifling academic criticism of China's Communist Party.
US action self-defeatingChina Daily
500000 tweets debate restrictions on Confucius Institutes teachersMorning Whistle

all 158 news articles »

Service dog learns English, sign language
Houston Chronicle
Nick is a 3-year old goldendoodle service dog who understands English and International Sign Language. / HC Three-year-old goldendoodle Nickolas Scott is a service dog that understands English and International Sign Language.

and more »

eWeek
Microsoft`s F#: 10 Reasons Why It`sa Hot Programming Language for Developers
eWeek
By Darryl K. Taft on 2012-05-25 F# is a strongly typed, functional-first programming language for writing simple code to solve complex problems. From the business perspective, the primary role of F#, pronounced F sharp, is to reduce the ...

Houston Chronicle (blog)
Channel 13 leads local English-language stations in May sweeps, but ...
Houston Chronicle (blog)
KTRK (Channel 13) led its English-language competitors across virtually every newscast window during the May Nielsen sweeps period, although the other stations, characteristically, also found things to like among the monthly data. In the closest race, ...

Google News