Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

Home
>
Humor & Entertainment
>
Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Here are just a few of the more notable health club regulars:

1. Screaming Banshee ?- We've all been focused on our workout when out of nowhere comes a blood-curdling sound from the corner of the weight room. You look over and there's a guy doing laterals with 20 lb dumbbells. It doesn't matter what the exercise or weight is ?- he's screaming with every rep. If it helps his workouts, then more power to him! It certainly makes a good case for a Walkman.

2. The Strainer ?- The Strainer can often be observed loading up a barbell or weight stack with poundage that he is unable to perform even a single rep in good form with. A favorite exercise of the Strainer is the triceps press down machine. He will position the pin almost near the bottom of the weight stack and then proceed to wrestle the stack downward with every ounce of his being. It's truly painful to watch, but like a car wreck, it's hard to look away.

After using most all of the muscles in his upper body along with several in his lower, he finally manages to complete a rep. "That's one!" Yep, only nine more to go. Oh yeah, don't bother trying to be helpful and tell him to use less weight. You'll only be greeted with a nasty glare.

3. iPod Head Banger ?- this is usually a young person, male or female, who seems to have ear buds permanently implanted into their head. Music can be a great inspiration during your workouts, but these folks turn the volume up to 11. Of course everyone in the immediate area can groove to the same jams due to the sound leaking out from their ear buds.

The hazard is that Mr. or Ms Head Banger is usually oblivious to their surroundings and you'll need to shout to get their attention if the need arises. At least you can hear them coming and give them a wide berth.

4. Stanley Steamer ?- it's hard to believe, but there are people who actually use their gym memberships just to avail themselves of the locker room amenities. Take Stanley Steamer for example. He may come in on his lunch hour or after work and do some quick cardio work and then it's right back to the locker room. The cardio work is just a pretext for what comes next.

He then will do alternating shifts between the dry sauna and steam room until he's sweated out every last drop of water from his body. This process can go on for up to an hour. "Great for the pores!" he'll tell you as he stands there glistening like a Thanksgiving Butterball. You go Stan!

5. Ken and Barbie ?- there are some gym regulars who are so genetically gifted that they have gone into permanent "maintenance mode" for they're training. Their routines consist of a solid core of shaping exercises with the strict rule that they must never, under any circumstances, ever shed one drop of sweat!

No hair is out of place and they look spectacular in their Lycra workout gear. In fact, you seem to never see them wearing anything else, even outside of the gym.

6. Chatty Cathy ?- Cathy is a relatively new species that has evolved with the proliferation of cell phones and the trend to use them no matter where we are. She will take up position on the adductor machine and wait for a call ?- any call ?- which soon arrives without fail.

She'll talk away for minutes on end. Occasionally passing the cell phone to any friends who have joined her for a "workout". She'll use these breaks to get in a few reps on whatever machine she's parked herself on. Just to be fair and balanced, there are also plenty of Chatty Carls as well.

7. Swiss Ball Magician ?- this is usually either a personal trainer or staff member who has learned a large repertoire of stability ball exercises from a special course or secret training manual. I marvel at the endless variety of moves they possess!

They're on top of the ball, under it, along side it, between the legs with it, and around the back. They make the Harlem Globe Trotters look like pikers! Actually, I pay close attention when they're around and try to cop some of their moves.

All of these types are well-meaning folks and they are certainly preferable to some of the knuckleheads that sometimes show up at the gym. They make going to the gym the enjoyable and enriching experience that it is.

Rich Rojas

Elliptical Trainer Reviews and Fitness Ideas

http://www.ellipticalhome.com

In The News:

Humor, speeches punctuate Pleasant Valley High's commencement ceremony
Enterprise-Record
After Yeh's speech, Zackery Williamson, the senior class president, gave a humorous speech in a deep baritone. The audience laughed after he apologized to the females in his graduating class for trying pickup lines on them for four consecutive "Can you ...

Writer Joel Warner and scholar Peter McGraw attempt to unravel "The Humor Code"
Denver Post
By John Wenzel Former Westword writer Joel Warner, left and CU professor Peter McGraw are working on a project called "The Humor Code." (Cyrus McCrimmon, The Denver Post) The Denver writer and the University of Colorado at Boulder professor have teamed ...

Sydney Morning Herald
'Men in Black 3' slow, has humor
Aiken Standard
But there's no urgency to this, no insistence to the humor. Sonnenfeld's whiplash-quick "Addams Family" and "Men in Black" movies were sprints compared to this ambling follow-up. We find out the secret behind supermodels (they're all aliens) and Andy ...
REVIEW: Men in Dreck 3Dallas Voice
Movie Review: Men in Black IIIGreat Dad
Men In Black IIIWebster Kirkwood Times
East Valley Tribune -Tulsa World
all 1,495 news articles »

Celebrate Summer with New Delicious Frozen Treats from MAGNUM®, Popsicle ...
MarketWatch (press release)
ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ, May 24, 2012 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Summer is just around the corner and to make sure your taste buds are prepared, the MAGNUM®, Popsicle®, Breyers®, Klondike® and Good Humor® Brands are revealing a new line-up of ...

and more »

CBS News
Actor Michael McKean keeps sense of humor after getting hit by car, calls ...
TheCelebrityCafe.com
The actor, who is currently starring in a Broadway production, has not lost his sense of humor, though. “We always tell each other to break a leg in this business. I never thought it would happen to me this way!” McKean, 64, told producer Jeffrey ...
Broken Leg Forces Michael McKean Off Broadway Performance of "The Best Man"Yidio TV & Movie News

all 520 news articles »

“Endgame” probes death, life with heartbreaking humor
Marinscope Community Newspapers
Bill Irwin, star of the humorous, heart-rending 80-minute “Endgame,” Nick Gabriel, as his servant-slave, and supporting actors Gils Havergal and Barbara Oliver as his parents play verbal ping-pong with life and its jagged journey.

and more »

World Peace retains sense of humor
Las Vegas Review-Journal
Dramatic endings usually play well in Los Angeles. But this is not a movie, and there was no last-second shot from superhero Kobe Bryant to save the season. The Lakers have been dumped from the NBA playoffs, left to panic and ponder another premature ...

and more »

South County man seeks to spread humor to fellow veterans
STLtoday.com
The 80-year-old South County resident has compiled the humorous material into three volumes called "Laughter Is The Best Medicine." He wants to give them to Veterans Administration hospitals and veteran homes for their patients, residents and relatives ...

and more »

Humor Me: When cancer became an afterthought
Lake County Record-Bee
by Kevin N. Hume Until Saturday, I had almost forgotten my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer just about four years ago. I was covering the Relay for Life event at Clear Lake High School. I had never been to the event before. As I walked around, ...

and more »

Slain West Bloomfield teen remembered with humor, tears
Detroit Free Press
Pallbearers bring the casket of slain teen Jonathan Hoffman out from the Ira Kaufman Chapel in Southfield after his funeral Tuesday. / REGINA H. BOONE/DETROIT FREE PRESS By Tammy Stables Battaglia Mourners hug after the funeral.

and more »

Google News