Ten Tips for a Real Holiday Season

Home
>
Holiday
>
Ten Tips for a Real Holiday Season

Ten Tips for a Real Holiday Season

Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make us think about how we can improve ourselves, and have the life we want in the future. We make resolutions - I must lose weight, I will save more money - and then lose our way. That's because we aren't matching our resolutions with who we are inside. We're more likely to succeed if we work on discovering our inner, Real selves, appreciate who we already are, and then take a chance on custom-made changes, not one-size-fit all resolutions. Here are ten tips for making the new year better in a Real way.

1. Let your values be your guide -- There are plenty of people who will tell you what should be important to you, if you let them. Friends, co-workers, family, even the mass media, bombard us with opinions and ideas. Don't just accept what others say. Decide for yourself what matters most and let those values set your course.

2. Take a long-term view -- Bad habits, difficult relationships, and other disappointments don't develop overnight. Similarly, life doesn't get better in a moment. Change happens slowly, step-by-step. Have the patience to see it through.

3. Let Go of the "Shoulds" -- When you were a kid, you needed grown-ups to tell you what was right and wrong and what you should do in a given situation. As an adult you can make these choices for yourself. "Shoulds" produce resentment and anger. Instead, do what you know in your heart is right, and set your own standards.

4. Define Yourself as Beautiful -- Fewer than five percent of us believe we are beautiful, but whenever I meet someone, I can see something beautiful in her right away. You may not fit the mass media image of conventional, external beauty, but there are things that make you attractive. Remember, beauty is an inside job.

5. Let Go of Being Perfect -- As much as we hear that "nobody's perfect" it's awfully hard to believe. This is because what we constantly see in the media are air-brushed images of people who appear perfect and we come to believe it is a reasonable goal. When we fall short of perfect, then we feel like failures, just for being ourselves. This year, why not just forget that whole concept and replace it with "I don't have to be perfect." The truth is, the people who love you know that you have flaws and just don't care. You don't have to either...

6. Stop Competing -- Life is not a game to be won or lost. It is more like a dance that never ends. People who make life a competition live in fear of losing. But if you understand that there's no first prize and no finish line, only opportunities to grow and experience things, then that fear is replaced by appreciation and wonder. Try to think about growing rather than winning.

7. Try a Little Self-Empathy -- We all hope to be kind and considerate when it comes to others. But have you ever made an effort to think about yourself in the same way? Most of us spend too much time judging ourselves harshly. It's hard to be happy when you let that little voice inside you endlessly say mean and critical things.

8. Make Friends with Your Flaws -- When you stop believing in perfection, it's a lot easier to adopt a new view of those things people call flaws. In many cases, we can redefine these differences and understand them as gifts. What makes a mole a beauty mark? The answer is in your perspective. Why not adopt a perspective that honors all those things that make you different?

9. Listen to Your Body -- Many of us lead lives that are so fast-paced and stressful that we push ourselves to the point of getting sick. In most cases, our bodies send us signals -fatigue, aches, hungers - when it's time to slow down, rest and examine our emotions. We can avoid a lot of sick days if we pause to listen to our bodies and respond with gentle self-care.

10. Try New Things -- In the end, the important things in life are found in relationships and experiences. We feel good when we connect with others and take on challenges that allow us to grow. If you have always wanted to feel closer to someone you know, take the risk. And if you have longed to try something new - in the arts, your work, sports, or anything else -- give yourself permission to try. A little courage will bring you great rewards in the coming year.

Toni Raiten-D'Antonio is a psychotherapist and author of The Velveteen Principles, a Guide to Becoming Real. The Velveteen Principles offers advice on reclaiming joy, fulfillment and individuality drawing from the simple wisdom of the children's classic The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. To Learn more, please visit http://www.velveteenprinciples.com.

In The News:

KATU
Holiday travel in Virginia predicted to increase
Progress Index
About 12000 more people are expected to hit the roads in Virginia this year compared to last year's Memorial Day holiday weekend, according to AAA - an increase of about 1.2 percent over 2011. The numbers are the result of a survey of travel intentions ...
Businesses looking up, as shore visits nearCherry Hill Courier Post
'Tipsy Tow' will get you home safely this Memorial Day weekendAZFamily
Brevard County Residents Have a Designated Driver with AAA's Tow to Go Program ...Brevard Times
Rockford Register Star -Newport Independent
all 1,011 news articles »

Holiday weekend first big test of Volusia's new beach-driving rules
Daytona Beach News-Journal
(NJ | Jim Tiller) Floridians are being warned by state and federal officials to keep an eye on a developing tropical system east of the state during holiday weekend activities. The system, which has caused flooding rains in South Florida this week, ...

and more »

Hometown Holidays
Washington Post
Change that the city's annual Hometown Holidays celebration Saturday and Sunday from 1 to 10 pm While dozens of concerts and shows play on eight stages across the Rockville Town Center, nearly 20 of the city's restaurants, from barbecue to baguettes, ...

and more »

USA TODAY
Memorial Day Preview: What to expect
GlobalPost
We trace the origins of the holiday. Members of the Armed Forces unveil the flag to celebrate Memorial Day prior to the game between the Chicago Fire and the New York Red Bulls at Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands on May 24, 2009 in East Rutherford, ...
Memorial Celebrations: Being Thankful For a Job Well DoneNJ TODAY
A time to rememberDaily Freeman Journal
Don't forget why we have Memorial DayMuscatine Journal
CollegeNews -The Coloradoan -Weatherford Democrat
all 135 news articles »

DWI Enforcement Common Over Holidays in Cortlandt
The Daily Cortlandt
by Jessica Glenza (email) New York State Police say enhanced enforcement of DWIs and safety restraints are now a common feature of holiday patrols. CORTLANDT, NY – Many consider Memorial Day the unofficial beginning of summer, and barbecues and beer ...

and more »

This is Money
Holiday money postcode lottery: Currency providers' exchange rates for euro ...
This is Money
Richard Lloyd, Which? executive director, said: 'Holidays don't come cheap and these anomalies don't help hard-pressed consumers.' A Thomas Cook spokesman said: 'Our foreign exchange bureaux in our stores are able to offer local rates that compete with ...
Some holiday money rates unfair, says Which?BBC News
Holidaymakers in exchange rate 'postcode lottery'Telegraph.co.uk

all 8 news articles »

Columbus Dispatch
Dear Abby: Time to decline niece's holiday invitations
Philadelphia Inquirer
DEAR ABBY:My sister “Ruth” and I spent most holidays dining out together after our families grew up and left home. Ruth died last year and her daughter “Lara” began inviting me for holidays “so I wouldn't be alone.” I have tried to decline, ...
Dear Abby: Poor plan leaves aunt home aloneGoErie.com

all 29 news articles »

Holiday display controversy resurfaces as committee drafts policy recommendation
Washington Post
As Memorial Day weekend approaches, Loudoun County officials are already thinking ahead to the winter holidays — specifically, the matter of holiday displays outside the historic courthouse in Leesburg. Over the past several weeks, ...

and more »

Most couples end up arguing on holiday
Times of India
Going on a holiday is supposed to be a chance to escape routine and relax with your partners, but unfortunately it also seems to provide couples with the perfect opportunity to argue. And most of the bickering starts before the trip has even begun, ...

and more »

Schafer: Holiday is a very special day of remembrance
Coldwater Daily Reporter
Unfortunately for too many people the reason for this holiday has lost its purpose. This is true of many American holidays, which have become just a time to eat, drink and have a good time. To other Americans though, this holiday is a very special day ...

Google News