Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to...

Home
>
Finding Happiness
>
Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to...

Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to...

I want to share with you today one of those great moments, when you suddenly experience a life changing burst of clarity. When suddenly the answer you're searching for becomes so obvious ? it's right there in front of you, and all you can say is "Wow! Why didn't I realise that before?"

This was the first of several moments of awakening for me, following my breakdown in early January 2005. It happened when I heard the following quote, by David Martyn Lloyd-Jones from his book "Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure":

"Most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself rather than talking to yourself."

Wow!

I'm not sure what effect this just had on you? Perhaps you've heard this idea before. But for me this was life-changing. Although only a part of the puzzle, it was a major part, and it was an exciting moment.

Let's look at what it means.

The first part states, "Most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself".

Would you let someone else tell you that you're no good, that you're not worthy? You're too fat! You can't do it. You always stuff up. You're too old. You're too young.

Firstly, what right do they had to make your decisions for you, and secondly, do their comments empower or disempower you?

You wouldn't listen to them, would you? So then why are you listening to your thoughts?

Another person's thoughts do NOT define who you are. And similarly, your thoughts do NOT define who you are. They do NOT define reality. You are NOT your thoughts, and you do NOT have to agree with them.

This is empowerment.

If you have not heard this concept before, try listening to your thoughts for a couple of days. Write them down, and I think you'll be incredibly surprised at how negative they actually are.

So what's the answer? Well it's quite simple. As the quote says, talk to yourself.

When you find yourself with unwanted feelings, perhaps anxiety, fear, or jealousy, step back and observe your mind because you'll always find negative thoughts.

Don't listen to them. Talk to yourself, and replace them with what you want to hear. Something that empowers you! There is only room for one thought at a time, so why don't you be the one to decide what that thought will be.

So for example, if your mind is saying "She'll never go out with me. I'm a loser. She'll just laugh", why not replace that with "She'll be lucky to go out with me, because I'm a nice guy. And if she's not interested, at least I'll know, and my confidence will be boosted so much because this time I had the courage to ask."

Next time your mind says, "I knew I couldn't stick to that diet. I'm going to be fat forever", why not replace it with "Well, I slipped up a little, but I'm making good progress on this diet. Let's keep going, because I'm looking better and better everyday."

Try it. Yes, in the beginning it's harder than it sounds because you're dealing with a massive tide of negativity, but I promise it gets easier the more you do it. And in time, it will be automatic ? your subconscious will be trained to give you positive thoughts rather than negative.

If you catch a negative thought, replace it with a positive. This is your life! Make sure you're the one in control. Live life to its fullest. Love life, and BE HAPPY!

-------------------------------------------------------------

You have permission to publish this article within your ezine, website or blog, free of charge, provided:

1. No changes are made.
2. The Resource Box is included.
3. Any links remain intact.

A courtesy copy sent to articles@howtobehappynow.com would be appreciated.

---------------------------------------------------

Lance Beggs is the author of the "How to be Happy Now" newsletter. His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love & happiness!

Subscribe to his FREE Mini-Course & ezine at http://www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

In The News:

Olympics-Happiness for Bhutan Olympians is not golden
Reuters
Neither Sherab nor Kunzang expect to win medals for Bhutan, an impoverished, largely Buddhist country between India and China which only opened up to foreigners in 1974, banned television until 1999, and uses happiness to measure its success.

and more »

How to Be Happier at Work: 3 Tips
TIME
Tan used his 20% time, working with experts, to create a course called “Search Inside Yourself,” designed to help Googlers improve their emotional intelligence and mindfulness, making them happier and more productive employees, and better bosses.
Increased Productivity Through MindfulnessSeattle Post Intelligencer (blog)
How to be happier at work: Three tipsDynamic Business

all 3 news articles »

Travel: Happiness is a humidity-free seaside town, plus top 10 states where ...
San Jose Mercury News
How else would you explain Kiawah Island, SC, and Naples, Fla., beating the sublime Sausalito and Tiburon in the publication's first-ever list of the 15 Happiest Seaside Towns? (Coastal Living is based in Birmingham, Ala., so there's that.) ...

and more »

Modern Happiness: Springsteen and the American Dream
Huffington Post (blog)
I think happiness is an idea that's kind of overblown in our society, and incredibly muddled down by different shit that tries to appeal to happiness or make you happy, but really only one person knows what happiness is, and that person is everybody.

The Guardian (blog)
The New Economics of Happiness
The Atlantic
But do they know how to measure happiness? If they did, what would we even do with the results? Each year, the OECD produces the Better Life Index, a comprehensive report on the well-being of advanced countries based on a long list of factors, ...
Happiness is - being a woman!Indian Express
The Happiest Countries in the World24/7 Wall St.
Better life: relaunching the happiness indexThe Guardian (blog)
Moneynews -MercatorNet (blog)
all 1,129 news articles »

ADDING MULTIMEDIA Money Can Buy Happiness After All ... Sort Of
MarketWatch (press release)
ATLANTA, May 24, 2012 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- They say money can't buy happiness, but $5 will get you pretty close today. After welcoming its 5 millionth guest earlier this year, the World of Coca-Cola, also known as the home of happiness, is celebrating ...

and more »

AARP News (blog)
Happiness: Reversing the Formula
Huffington Post
We grow up being taught to believe external things will bring happiness. Many of us learn to equate our own happiness with the level of success we achieve and the external things that come with the achievement. If we meet the right person, ...
What's Your Happiness Formula?AARP News (blog)

all 2 news articles »

Sowetan
'Happiness' is key Semenya ingredient
Sowetan
FOR Dorcas Semenya, world athletics champion Caster Semenya's mother, the most important lesson to teach one's children is to always be happy. PROUD: Doris Semenya has instilled joy in her children. "I am a person filled with joy.

and more »

IBTimes.co.uk
Can Happiness Research Invent a Better Economics?
The Atlantic
But do they know how to measure happiness? If they did, what would we even do with the results? Each year, the OECD produces the Better Life Index, a comprehensive report on the well-being of advanced countries based on a long list of factors, ...
Top Ten Happiest Countries in the World in 2012 [SLIDESHOW]IBTimes.co.uk

all 37 news articles »

WBEZ (blog)
Are the Chinese happier than they were 20 years ago?
WBEZ (blog)
After two decades of rapid economic growth, people in China aren't necessarily happier than they were 20 years ago. At least that's what a recent economic study found. Better economic conditions haven't really affected middle-income earners and the ...

and more »

Google News