Made in Heaven

Home
>
Dealing with Grief & Loss
>
Made in Heaven

Made in Heaven

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my Mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times.

Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my football matches, held a box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, supported me at my father's death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life.

When Mother's illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her. I counted it an honour.

"What now, Lord?" I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss. My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife's hand. My sister sat slumped against her husband's shoulder, his arms around her as she cradled their child.

All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone. My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk, taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord. My work was finished, and I was alone.

I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor. An exasperated young woman looked around briefly and then sat next to me. She folded her hands and placed them on her lap. Her eyes were brimming with tears. Then she began to sniffle. "I'm late," she explained, though no explanation was necessary.

After several eulogies, she leaned over and commented, "Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of 'Margaret'?

"Because that was her name, Margaret. Never Mary. No one called her 'Mary'", I whispered. I wondered why this person couldn't have sat on the other side of the church. she interrupted my grieving with her tears.

"No", she insisted, as several people glanced over at us whispering, "Her name is Mary, Mary Peters."

"That isn't who this is, I replied.."

"Isn't this the Lutheran church?"

"No, the Lutheran church is across the street."

"Oh"

"I believe you're at the wrong funeral, Miss."

The solemnity of the occasion mixed with the realization of the girl's mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter. I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs. The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious.

I peeked at the bewildered, misguided girl seated beside me. She was laughing too as she glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit.

I imagined my Mother laughing.

At the final "Amen," we darted out a door and into the parking lot. "I do believe we'll be the talk of the town," she smiled. She said her name was Rita and since she had missed her aunt's funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee.

That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this woman who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place. A year after our meeting, we were married at the country church, where her father was the pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time.

In the time of deepest sorrow, God gave me laughter.

In place of loneliness, God gave me love.

This June we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary.

Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rita tells them, "His mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it's truly a match made in heaven."

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, "I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

About The Author

Nithya K is a India-based writer who specializes in writing fiction and has tremendous interest in writing non-fiction related to science, technology and other genre. She is also experienced in creating technical documentation. Basically a BE graduate with an MBA degree, her main focus is still writing. Nithya is also interested in Ghost writing of books and articles in the areas of business writing, technical writing, science and technology writing and fiction.

The author can be contacted at tutor19us@yahoo.com and also invites readers to visit her webpage at www.geocities.com/tutor19us/index.html

In The News:

AFP
Philippines grief at Sanchez's 'American Idol' loss
AFP
MANILA — President Benigno Aquino led the heartbroken Philippines in heaping praise Thursday on a teenager of Filipino-Latino heritage following her loss in the final of US talent show "American Idol". Millions of Filipinos watched Jessica Sanchez, 16 ...

and more »

Oncologists Grief at Patient Loss Affects Treatment
Doctors Lounge
One coping strategy and impact of patient loss was compartmentalization, involving the ability to separate feelings of grief from other aspects of their lives. The theme of balancing emotional boundaries between growing close enough to care for ...
Cancer docs often deal with own grief, doubts when patients dieKTTC

all 13 news articles »

fox4kc.com
Family Deals with Grief & Loss After Joplin Tornado
fox4kc.com
The memories never leave and neither does their loneliness and grief. The Carmonas try not to remind rhemselves of the trauma they suffered but Kari can't help avoid the now empty lot where her daughter and husband were killed. They're doing their best ...
Scott Charton, guest columnist: 'Deadline in Disaster' film a story about ...Joplin Globe

all 66 news articles »

Ted Mayr Funeral Home to offer grief support sessions
Ventura County Star
“In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in awareness about the critical need to help individuals deal with the grief accompanying the loss of a loved one,” said Sherry Scott, general manager of Ted Mayr Funeral Home and Crematory.

NEWS.com.au
PM expresses grief over loss of lives in train accident
IBNLive.com
PTI | 11:05 PM,May 22,2012 New Delhi, May 22 (PTI) Prime Minister Manmohan Singh today expressed grief over the loss of lives in the Hampi Express train accident near Penukonda in the Anantapur district of Andhra Pradesh. In his message Singh said, ...
Mukul Roy announces ex-gratia for Hampi Express mishapDaily News & Analysis

all 1,015 news articles »

Shared Grief
Ashland Daily Tidings
Writer/director Phillipe Falardeau brilliantly captures not only the milieu of a middle-school classroom, with all of its quirks and individual personalities but touches deftly and insightfully on the students' reactions to the loss of their teacher ...

and more »

Philip Kaufman goes from loss to HBO's 'Hemingway'
San Francisco Chronicle
It must have been an exceedingly strange time for Kaufman and his producer son, Peter - losing wife Rose only a month earlier, living in the fog of grief and loss, dealing with the giant task of adjusting to life without her.

and more »

Understanding Common Reactions to Grief – No You're Not Going Crazy
WBGH
June 21 – Norwich: Hospice of Chenango County Monthly Living with Loss Talk. This month's discussion is about common reactions to grief that can make the griever feel crazy. These common reactions can include memory loss, changes in sleeping, ...

Writing Down the Grief
Huffington Post
Nobody ever suggested grieving, period. But teenagers are grieving, and the more we can guide them through this process the more they can begin to understand the losses in their lives. When I was sixteen years old, I had three people die within two ...

John Edwards deserves compassion, not ridicule
Daily Local News
The loss of a child is the most horrendous human experience imaginable. It shatters people beyond the comprehension of those who are fortunate enough not to have to experience it. I have felt all along that this was a grief issue and that the death of ...

Google News