Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo

Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Her death was not the way I would want my own death to be. When my time comes, I want no heroic measures, since for me they simply postpone the inevitable. And watching the family feud that took place between her husband and her parents, with all the tension and the anger, saddened me terribly. Peace should be the last emotion Terry felt, but who knows if she heard only the angry words passed between those she loved. No one should have to die as she did.

What a shame. At the same time, look at the two different approaches to grief presented to us, one by her husband Michael and the other by her parents the Schindlers. Michael was clearly ready to "lay her gently down," he was prepared to move on with his new life and to "begin again" with his fiancee and two young children. Some say he was ready a bit too soon, but I disagree. Grief takes as long as it needs, there is no clock for the soul. Her parents, on the other hand, were clearly unable to give her up yet. It is understandable that parents would be so protective of their kids, and I don't know what I would do if, God forbid, one of my own kids was in a similar state.

I am not judging, just pointing out the differences in style and approach in this wrenching drama. For Terri's parents, despite how they may feel now, they must know that there is still hope for them. There is a new future which they will soon help create; there will be new challenges for them and their family which they cannot yet know. When you are grieving, you often lose sight of the future, because the present is so draining. But no matter what has been taken from you there is hope. They still have each other and they still have a life in front of them. I certainly pray that they will find healing and consolation, and that Terri's memories will bring them peace.

In The News:


AFP

Philippines grief at Sanchez's 'American Idol' loss
AFP
MANILA — President Benigno Aquino led the heartbroken Philippines in heaping praise Thursday on a teenager of Filipino-Latino heritage following her loss in the final of US talent show "American Idol". Millions of Filipinos watched Jessica Sanchez, 16 ...

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Oncologists Grief at Patient Loss Affects Treatment
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fox4kc.com

Family Deals with Grief & Loss After Joplin Tornado
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The memories never leave and neither does their loneliness and grief. The Carmonas try not to remind rhemselves of the trauma they suffered but Kari can't help avoid the now empty lot where her daughter and husband were killed. They're doing their best ...
Scott Charton, guest columnist: 'Deadline in Disaster' film a story about ...Joplin Globe

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Ted Mayr Funeral Home to offer grief support sessions
Ventura County Star
“In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in awareness about the critical need to help individuals deal with the grief accompanying the loss of a loved one,” said Sherry Scott, general manager of Ted Mayr Funeral Home and Crematory.


NEWS.com.au

PM expresses grief over loss of lives in train accident
IBNLive.com
PTI | 11:05 PM,May 22,2012 New Delhi, May 22 (PTI) Prime Minister Manmohan Singh today expressed grief over the loss of lives in the Hampi Express train accident near Penukonda in the Anantapur district of Andhra Pradesh. In his message Singh said, ...
Mukul Roy announces ex-gratia for Hampi Express mishapDaily News & Analysis

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Shared Grief
Ashland Daily Tidings
Writer/director Phillipe Falardeau brilliantly captures not only the milieu of a middle-school classroom, with all of its quirks and individual personalities but touches deftly and insightfully on the students' reactions to the loss of their teacher ...

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Philip Kaufman goes from loss to HBO's 'Hemingway'
San Francisco Chronicle
It must have been an exceedingly strange time for Kaufman and his producer son, Peter - losing wife Rose only a month earlier, living in the fog of grief and loss, dealing with the giant task of adjusting to life without her.

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Understanding Common Reactions to Grief – No You're Not Going Crazy
WBGH
June 21 – Norwich: Hospice of Chenango County Monthly Living with Loss Talk. This month's discussion is about common reactions to grief that can make the griever feel crazy. These common reactions can include memory loss, changes in sleeping, ...


Writing Down the Grief
Huffington Post
Nobody ever suggested grieving, period. But teenagers are grieving, and the more we can guide them through this process the more they can begin to understand the losses in their lives. When I was sixteen years old, I had three people die within two ...


John Edwards deserves compassion, not ridicule
Daily Local News
The loss of a child is the most horrendous human experience imaginable. It shatters people beyond the comprehension of those who are fortunate enough not to have to experience it. I have felt all along that this was a grief issue and that the death of ...

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