Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment

Home
>
Careers, Jobs & Employment
>
Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment

Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment

Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position. If you realize, half way through an interview, that you would be miserable working for this company and you wouldn't let your dog take the job, you still want it to be offered. If the hours are unsuitable, the job duties demeaning, and the salary a joke, you still want to be made an offer.

Why is it so important to us to have an offer made which we already know we will reject?

It is important because we are aware that we are being judged. We talk about skills and experience and prior accomplishments but that has already been outlined in a resume. A face-to-face interview is for the purpose of judging you as a person: Will you fit in? How do you express yourself? How do you look? Are you pleasant to have around? Are you likable?

If a job offer is made, we feel validated and worthwhile -they liked us. We never think "He really didn't like me but my skills are so great." We want to be liked, we want to be wanted, we want to be appreciated for what we are.

If no job offer is forthcoming, we take it personally: "I guess they didn't like me." Regardless of our whether our skills were a fit, our salary in the ballpark, or our experience applicable, we feel a personal failure. The negative messages of a lifetime, stored in our brain, start playing: "I'm just not good enough. I'm worthless. People don't like me. Why do I always mess up? I'm such a failure. Why can't I be more like . . . "

We mentally beat ourselves down by listening to those constantly recycling tapes. Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity, and its destructive effect on our psyche, can be contained by three techniques:

1. Awareness of what our mind is doing and consciously interrupting its tirade.

2. A refocus of our mental attention to prior successes and accomplishments, no matter how small, to counter the idea that we are lifelong screw-ups.

3. Reframing our value as a person from the specific employee/worker role into the total personality that we are: in our intimate and social relationships, in our family, in our community.

Applying for work sets us up to judged but we need to remind ourselves that only a small discrete portion of who we are is being examined. As a whole person, we are far more than a worker and no employer can judge us on our totality.

Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com

In The News:

Health care careers still best bet for job security
Herald Times Reporter
Holte's career change was a sound one. Health care jobs have remained strongest throughout the recession and the recovery, said Denis Winters, chief labor economist with the state Department of Workforce Development. State and federal labor data shows ...
Demand for health care workers persistsWausau Daily Herald

all 11 news articles »

Government of Canada Creates 36 000 Summer Jobs for Students
MarketWatch (press release)
The funding will enable the students to gain the skills and experience they need to be successful, both now and in their future careers. "The Saskatchewan Abilities Council is grateful for the support from Canada Summer Jobs," said Karen Moore, ...

and more »

ABC Action News
Jobs: Time to jump off the career ladder, become a 'supertemp?'
ABC Action News
As with many others who work as an independents, he began his career as an interim when he was made redundant. A recent survey by the IIM showed that 22% of prospective interims cite the end of employment as a trigger for making the move, ...

and more »

Newsday
Paterno's Penn State pension to top $13 million
Chicago Tribune
Paterno's pension payments come on top of a more than $5.5 million package his estate is receiving from the public university under his employment contract, including a $3 million "career bonus" due to him at retirement. As head coach for 46 of his 61 ...
Former PSU coach Joe Paterno's pension valued at $13.4 millionPittsburgh Post Gazette

all 248 news articles »

All Made Up: Cosmetology and Beauty Schools in the US Industry Market Research ...
PR Web (press release)
The minimal time it takes for training and then launching a business lured prospective students looking for a career change. “In addition to benefiting from a wide range of employment opportunities, cosmetology and beauty training also offers the ...

and more »

Jobs fair event a success
Greenock Telegraph
CAREERS ADVICE: Grant Cameron, on the bike, is joined by Debbie Welsh, the council's Getting Ready for Work training officer and his friend Ross Newman. A GROUNDBREAKING jobs, training and education fair has been hailed a huge success by organisers and ...

Jobs for the disabled through careers center
China Daily
BEIJING - Zhang Zheng is grateful for the employment guidance of the Beijing Career Service Center for the Disabled. The 28-year-old IT technician, who suffers paralysis in both legs, recalls being turned down for many jobs on the grounds of his ...

Bleacher Report
UFC 146: Why a Dan Hardy Loss Will Spell the End of His UFC Career
Bleacher Report
His current four-fight losing streak would have cost most fighters their jobs with the promotion. However, because two of those losses were against the current and interim champions in the division—Georges St-Pierre and Carlos Condit, ...

and more »

Outlook better for college graduates
The Rolla Daily News
Many of those students returned to live with their parents after school and took retail jobs to begin paying off their loans. Many of them were also much more aggressive about looking for work earlier in their college careers. The University of Chicago ...

RealVail
Obama administration conservation projects generate more than 20000 summer jobs
RealVail
“These first experiences building trails, clearing out hazardous fuels, or cleaning up rivers not only equip young people with skills for a new career, but can also awaken a love for the outdoors that lasts a lifetime,” Interior Secretary Ken Salazar ...

and more »

Google News